I Have Some News About A Brand-New Thing

Almost five years ago, I had what I thought was a great idea for a book. [ultrasound photo]

And since I didn't know anything about being a dad, I thought I would interview some dads about their parenting experiences.

I thought 40 sounded like a nice round number, so I interviewed 40 dads. None of these people were "experts," just guys I knew who had some experience, and I thought maybe some stories + wisdom.

I got 26 interviews done, and then our baby arrived, which slowed my progress a bit.

But I kept doing interviews, kept editing and condensing them, and creating illustrations for each dad's chapter, like this one:

My kid turned four years old in July, which means the book idea is almost five years old.

The book itself published on September 17:

Buy the book in hardcover and ebook editions here

In advance of the publication, I hand-wrote a few quotes from some of the dads I interviewed, which I thought captured the spirit of the book pretty well.

"I distinctly remember cutting the umbilical cord, and just thinking, 'Well, there goes one half of my life and here comes the rest of it.' I remember I was having a mini—I don't know if it was euphoria or a panic attack—but I just felt that this tightness in my chest just reached a crescendo and broke." —Kurt, Alberta, Canada

"I wish somebody had told me that you can get it right. I think I spend a lot of time mitigating my gut instinct, or litigating it, to put it politely. Things can go okay. Definitely, they're not going to go as you'd expect, and things don't always go as you'd want. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about things can turn out okay, especially if you center the kid, lead with love, and just really keep in mind what's important." —Knox, California

"Once you become a parent, you realize that you are just at the beginning. Almost always. You're never in the middle. You're just at the beginning of figuring stuff out, no matter what it is. The first few years of being a parent you want to cross the goal line, you want to pass the checkpoint, whatever it is. You realize that there are no real goal lines. There is no checkpoint. Keep moving forever. That's what you've got to do." —Pitt, Utah

"For as much joy and happiness that comes with being a parent, there's an equal amount of heartache and agony, and frustration and anger and all these negative things, but they don't weigh the same. At the end of the day, the positives, even if it's an equivalent amount of time, weigh more, in my experience." —Seth, Idaho

"I think it's the confidence of ignorance. Because you have no idea how hard it is, you don't think it's hard. You look around and you're like, 'I had a parent, and I've known parents and if they could do it, I could do it. There's billions of parents in the world. How hard could it be?" It was like a two-by-four to the face." —Brian, New Jersey

"Being a dad taught me that as a family, you don't have to have all the resources in the world to be happy. Growing up, that was the thing you had to—especially as a family of color—you have to succeed. You have to be successful. Of course, the definition of 'successful' is more of a monetary existence, not more of a happy existence. The one thing I've learned is that you become very humble, and your success is shown by how happy you—not just your kids—but you as a family, are together." —Gregory, Colorado

"When you try to be a disciplinarian, sometimes you don't even believe it yourself. Sometimes when you're going to try to teach a lesson, and you're asking yourself, 'Does that make sense? I don't know if the words that came out of my mouth are working right now, but I'm trying my best. We'll workshop that one.' That's a good thing about having four kids. I just tell myself, 'Maybe I'll get the next one. The next one will respect me.'" —Dan, Rhode Island

"I was the driver of it in our relationship and I definitely wanted to have kids. I had a conversation with my dad and I was telling him about this. This is 2002, and at the time, same-sex adoption was not a big thing. I was saying, 'Hey, I really want to be a dad and I'd really like to adopt a kid.' My dad said, 'Look, if you're going to adopt a kid, do it now because you don't want to be 65 riding a rollercoaster.'" —John, Massachusetts

"Our first was not a very noisy breather, and when she slept, she didn't move all that much. There were times when I'm going to look in and I need to watch for a long time to make sure she's still breathing—which, psychologically, I knew was not necessary, but I couldn't help myself. I got a flashlight with a red filter, so I wouldn't wake her up looking in. The funny thing is the first time your baby sleeps all night long, you will simultaneously feel amazing, but then also panic because you think they're dead." —Jason, Wisconsin

"I always considered myself too selfish to have kids because of the time loss, because of the disposable income loss, the liability, and all those things are true, certainly. I was right, but the upside is worth it. There is one thing I know about myself: That I don't know what I'm going to like or dislike in the future." —Nick, Colorado

The book is now available in hardcover + ebook wherever you buy books, and through the links below. I hope the dads in the book can help other parents as much as they've helped me during the past four years.

Buy the book:

Hardcover and ebook at Bookshop.org
[please use the Bookshop link if you'd like to maximize your support for me + independent bookstores]

Hardcover and ebook at Barnes & Noble

Kindle and Hardcover at Amazon.com

ebook at Gumroad

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Semi-Rad

I Have Some News About A Brand-New Thing

​​I Have Some News About A Brand-New Thing​

​Buy the book in hardcover and ebook editions here​

Semi-Rad

Friday Inspiration 553

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New Technology Is Cool, But Have You Heard About Old Technology?

I Have Some News About A Brand-New Thing

Buy the book in hardcover and ebook editions here