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​How Do We Feel About Waving At Other Runners?​

A few weeks ago, while running on the multi-use asphalt path near our house, as another runner approached from the opposite direction, I decided to wave at them. They waved back, we both kept on running, and a few minutes after that, I decided I was going to be A Person Who Waves At Fellow Runners. Surely, there are only two types of runners in this world, right?

I live in what is categorized as a Small City, population about 75,000 people. It’s not quite a small enough town where I might feel like I should say hello to everyone I see on the multi-use path, but definitely not a big enough city where it would feel ridiculous and overwhelming to acknowledge every other runner I saw during my run.

We’ve lived here almost six years, and since we came from a bigger city where I relished my anonymity, I have never really said hi to anyone when I was out running, unless I recognized them. But for absolutely no reason a few weeks ago, I started to give everyone—other runners, I mean—a little wave as I passed going the other way. And: I liked it.

But was I really going to commit to waving to every other runner I encountered, forever? Certainly there were exceptions, which I started making almost immediately—specifically people running while wearing big noise-canceling headphones and not making any sort of eye contact with anyone. They are clearly presenting that they are not interested in human interaction, and I respect that. So, there was at least that exception. But where would I draw the line? Or lines?

I reached out to my friend Syd, who is one of the warmest, friendliest, most outgoing people I know, and has lived the majority of his life in the most densely populated city in the U.S. Syd is also a runner, and now splits his time running between Denver’s City Park and another large park in New York known as Central Park. Surely Syd just said hi to everyone when he was out running, right?

That was more nuanced than I was expecting, but of course it made sense. I decided to conduct a poll on Instagram:

More than 2,300 people responded, and lots of people (72 percent—almost three-quarters!) said they always waved at other runners. Two percent of people said they never waved, and 26 percent said “it depends” (which was the third choice that allowed you to explain/elaborate in the comments).

Many people commented (thankfully!)—almost 300, in fact, and many of the comments were illuminating:

• Trails, yes. City/parks, nah
• Depends on vibes and location. Female runners, yes. As a solo female runner I often don't acknowledge male solo runners because I've had too many weird situations that could have become worse. I do say hi to male group runs on the trail Bec usually good vibe and my spidey sense doesn't go off. On the trails I am more likely to because different brand of runner. On the road or greenbelt, only females with our unspoken, got you, I acknowledge you in case something happens. Location: Treasure Valley/ Boise ID
• Depends where I am--I try to match the local culture for it. This means: in Canada (where I'm from), always. In Germany (where I live), rarely.
• Every single person, every single time. An out back race is a nightmare to my midwestern brain. My arm would hurt from giving the Iowa wave at every single runner!
• Usually unless I'm suffering and need 110% of my focus
• Women and non-creepy men with dogs get a smile and a hello, most men get a head nod, anyone giving off creepy vibes does not get a greeting
• I usually say hello unless it's a fairly crowded trail. But probably half the time, I don't get a response. Earbuds, sigh. And nobody waves in my city!
• I wave/head nod/shaka 95% of the time unless the vibes are off/I feel unsafe
• I acknowledge 99% to some degree but some people you can tell from a distance aren't even going to look at you.
• On trail the health check hello is the way to go!
• Sometimes I'm too occupied making sure my dog is behaving but I still try to acknowledge
• As a woman in the US, I rarely acknowledge male solo runners—for obvious reasons.
• Trail always. Road maybe. I run solo so I say hi to most guys but try to leave the solo ladies alone cuz guys do weird stuff and I don't want solo ladies to feel pressure to say hi to solo guys. All groups (mixed or single gender) I always say hi.
• Typically, yes! Circumstances for NOT acknowledging another runner/walker: If I/they are in the middle of a hard effort workout that requires focus and if someone gives me creepy vibes (especially if I'm alone)— in this case sometimes I'll flash my pepper spray or handheld taser for dominance
• I'm a woman, so... it depends. Gotta do the vibe check first.
• If I make eye contact and they reciprocate they get a runner wave. Otherwise I assume they are in their own zone and want to be left alone.
• If I'm running alone I try to avoid engaging with men on my route so as not to get followed/stalked (past experiences apply), but I usually wave or nod or say good morning to other women or to anyone if I'm running with friends. —DC suburbs and trails
• I live in Brooklyn. If I were to wave at people, they would think I was insane. However, as a woman, if I am running alone outside of NYC, I wave at every person I meet. Why? Because if you wave at people, they are more likely to remember having seen you, what you were wearing, the direction you were headed, etc. should you never make it back from your run. My high school cross country coach made us do it, and I never forgot it.
• There is this one guy I see every Friday sitting in the stoop and he is so excited to see me run by. I hoof and puff and send a friendly wave . But other than him, usually not .. I'm too in the zone or meditative state of running but I look forward to seeing him just once a week, he there there only on Fridays
• It depends, if it won't come off as creepy, and it's not that one guy I often see that never waved back. I've given up on him
• Living in NYC usually zero acknowledgment but I really want to say hi to everyone. When I am upstate and the only pedestrian on the roads I wave at almost every car
• Depends entirely on how tired I am! Early in the run = smile, wave, even a good morning. Last uphill of the run - grunt of acknowledgement or barely perceptible head nod.
• If they wave / acknowledge me I will try to respond if possible....often a wave and wheeze. If they aren't fussed then neither am I. I am more of a fighting for my life while running person so I might not even be able to have cognition of others running in my vicinity.
• If your doing laps of a park in opposite directions then first time I'll say hello, second time maybe a little awkward nod but any more than I'll stare at the floor as I pass.
• Other men, yes. Women no.
• I run with my giant dog and everyone waves/says hello to him (and then as an afterthought to me) so I'd be pretty rude to ignore them.
• They usually get the nod. However one time I was doing hill repeats and after the last rep, a lady who I passed several times going up and down gave me a high five at the top of the hill, and I will NEVER forget her.
• Occasionally I've been engaged for a fist bump or high five by other runners. Tbh that's a pretty fun time
• Yes I love feeling like we are struggling together.
• I have to restrain myself from high fiving them

This was after several weeks of waving at other runners during my runs, and I started thinking, you know what, just like so many people who commented, I have my own sorts of rules about who I will wave at. I drew a chart:

Many of the survey comments confirmed that a) of course, it’s way different for me, as a man, than it would be if I were a woman, b) the last thing I want to be in someone’s day is “that creepy guy who waved at me while I was running,” so I considered my waving technique, and:

In the few weeks that I have been doing this little experiment, an interesting thing has happened three different times: I have gotten a high-five or a fist bump from someone running the other direction. In every instance, this has happened before I even lift my hand to wave at them. Once it was after I’d run up and down Mt. Sentinel and probably looked a bit tired in my running vest, and these two college-age guys who looked like they were just starting out on their run gave me a fist bump and some words of respectful encouragement as they passed. Another time it was a runner in his 30s or 40s, running about the same pace as me, and just reaching out silently. And then this past Monday, I dragged myself out in the heat of the afternoon somewhat begrudgingly, and in the final mile of my 3-mile run, I was chugging uphill as a very tattooed, very ripped, very younger-and-cooler-looking-than-me guy was running down the hill, and just as I was about to give him a wave, he reached out an open hand and said something like “Get it, brother” and we high-fived.

This all may be just coincidence, but I gotta say, a wave or a nod, or the occasional fist bump or high five kind of does make it feel, as one survey respondent put it, like we are all struggling together.

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